REVOLTING RHYMES

...again our beloved Roald Dahl and his Revolting Rhymes. It is a book including "exotic versions" of well known children´s tales. Let´s have a look at and listen to "Goldilocks and the three bears":

This famous wicked little tale

Should never have been put on sale

It is a mystery to me

Why loving parents cannot see

That this is actually a book

About a brazen little crook..."

"...Now just imagine how you'd feel

If you had cooked a lovely meal,

Delicious porridge, steaming hot,

Fresh coffee in the coffee pot,

With maybe toast and marmalade,

The table beautifully laid,

One place for you and one for dad,

Another for your little lad.

Then dad cries, 'Golly–gosh! Gee whizz!'

Oh cripes! How hot this porridge is!'

Let's take a walk along the street'Until it's cool enough to eat.

'He adds, 'An early morning stroll'Is good for people on the whole.

'It makes your appetite improve'It also helps your bowels move.

'No proper wife would dare to question

Such a sensible suggestion,

Above all not at breakfast–time

When men are seldom at their prime.

No sooner are you down the road

Than Goldilocks, that little toad

That nosey thieving little louse,

Comes sneaking in your empty house...."
"...(Here comes the next catastrophe.)

Most educated people choose

To rid themselves of socks and shoes

Before they clamber into bed.

But Goldie didn't give a shred.

Her filthy shoes were thick with grime,

And mud and mush and slush and slime.

Worse still, upon the heel of one

Was something that a dog had done.

I say once more, what would you think

If all this horrid dirt and stink

Was smeared upon your eiderdown

By this revolting little clown?

(The famous story has no clues

To show the girl removed her shoes.)
Oh, what a tale of crime on crime!

Let's check it for a second time.
Crime One, the prosecution's case:

She breaks and enters someone's place.
Crime Two, the prosecutor notes:

She steals a bowl of porridge oats.
Crime Three: She breaks a precious chair

Belonging to the Baby Bear.
Crime Four: She smears each spotless sheet

With filthy messes from her feet.
A judge would say without a blink,'

Ten years hard labour in the clink!

'But in the book, as you will see,

The little beast gets off scot–free,

While tiny children near and far

Shout 'Goody–good! Hooray! Hurrah!

''Poor darling Goldilocks!' they say,

'Thank goodness that she got away!

'Myself, I think I'd rather send

Young Goldie to a sticky end.

'Oh daddy!' cried the Baby Bear,

'My porridge gone! It isn't fair!

''Then go upstairs,' the Big Bear said,

'Your porridge is upon the bed.'But as it's inside mademoiselle,

'You'll have to eat her up as well."

....a lesson on GOOD MANNERS...isn´t it?....Can you find vocabulary on FOOD? How is Goldilocks called in the rhyme?. What is porridge? What is the punishment? Can you find the word" trasero" in the story?